Bono's Speechless

Gallagher admits the rockers had upset Abbey Road bosses by "blasting out Beatles records at four in the morning" and "doing loads of drugs" there.
But when he decided to record Oasis' new album, Dig Out Your Soul, at the former home of the Fab Four, he took advantage of U2's famous deliberating and bribed Abbey Road bosses with cash.
He tells Mojo magazine, "U2 were booked in there with (producer) Rick Rubin. I was like, 'U2? U2 have to have a f**king six-hour meeting (to discuss) whether to get tea or coffee in the rehearsal room! They are not coming in here any time in the next five years.'
"The guy from Abbey Road was like, 'I've got it block-booked for the exact time you want it.'
"We actually went down to Abbey Road with a bag of money, and said, 'We can pay for the studio now!'"

I love the Gallaghers: New Album

http://www.youtube.com/oasisinetofficial

Sundays at 10pm

I support AMC, it's one of the few cable channels that I can get down with as a brand experience. Last year they rolled out Mad Men, which documents an Ad agency in 1960 NYC.

It's good! Anyone else watch it?

The most intriguing part for me so far (the second season began last Sunday) has been the breaking down of the eternal American chauvinistic character, which I think is in desperate need of a comeback/revision, considering it's been hijacked and somewhat represented as of late.

Who Are We Talkin' About Here

"I'd like to see the candidate I want to support raise the stakes a few more times, I'd like to see some bigger promises, some bigger swings for the fences." He thinks politicians' ability to be swayed by polls is standard human behavior. He understands the desire to win, which can cause somebody to alter who they are in fear of losing. And this, he said, happens on both sides of the political spectrum. ________ who describes himself as "a registered independent," is taking a wait-and-see attitude. Both McCain and Obama have been criticized in the media for not taking "big" enough stands, and _______ says it's those kinds of statements -- announcements of big ideas -- that he's waiting on before making his decision.

...a message _____ believes in: One person can matter.

More Proof the Republicans Have Lost Their Goddamn Minds

Excuse me for the profanity laden tirade but these Goddamn, motherfucking Republicans have lost their ever loving mind. I mean I thought the Paris and Brittney ad was dumb but comparing Obama to Hasselhoff, gay techno, and Marxism? How in the fuck could we as Americans responsibly elect these ignorant, backwoods, stupid ass, dumb piles of shit....there is a very strong term that begins with N and ends in ger that used to be listed in the Websters dictionary with the definition "An ignorant fool". And I will admit I've used the word a few times in my life but NEVER in a racialy charged context, only in humor and adjective anger. And there aren't many people that deserve to be labled with the power and strength of this pejorative. But the Republicans have become a bunch of Goddamn Niggers!

Can

Barack Hussein Hilton Obama

Thank you for registering for the new BobDylan.com!

From the wires...

Legendary American musician Bob Dylan will unveil the eighth installment of his Bootleg Series, consisting of late-era outtakes, previously unreleased recordings and live tracks on Oct. 7, media reported Wednesday.

The two-CD, 27-song set, entitled "Tell Tale Signs," features previously unreleased studio recordings, demos, alternate takes, live tracks and rarities spanning 1989 to 2006, a rich period that generated the lauded "Time Out of Mind," "Love and Theft," "Modern Times" and "Oh Mercy."

The first single, "Dreamin' of You" is available for free download when you register for the newly redesigned BobDylan.com. I downloaded it this morning after jumping through not a few hoops and liked what I heard.

Too soon!

The White Whale

by E.L. Doctorow is one of the best articles I've read in a while. I wish people were more often concerned with the sand at which our empire was built, rather than the color of the attic's shade. I wish we had listened to baseball. I wish our social conscience could reflect (and even value) the rewards of fundamental thought. Excerpted below . . .

"It is Whitman, our great poet and pragmatic philosopher, who advises us not to be curious about God but to affix our curiosity to our own lives and the earth we live on, and then perhaps as far as we can see into the universe with our telescopes. This was the charge he gave himself, and it is the source of all the attentive love in his poetry. If we accept it as our own and decide something is right after all in a democracy that is given to a degree of free imaginative expression that few cultures in the world can tolerate, we can hope for the aroused witness, the manifold reportage, the flourishing of knowledge that will restore us to ourselves, awaken the dulled sense of our people to the public interest that is their interest, and vindicate the genius of the humanist sacred text that embraces us all."

How to Win in Florida

So apparently this campaign ad has gone 'viral' over the last few days. I must say, it's one of the most powerful clean political ads I've ever seen.

A World That Stands As One

So apparently this is what restoring hope in America looks like, 200,000+ people showing up to hear Barack Obama speak, in front of the Victory Tower in Berlin. You know, I've always loved my country, and I've always been very proud of it, but over the last 6 years I've become quite beleaguered. Something happened after 9/11. I felt this hurt and was sad all day long. And I saw the world rallying around America, ready to stand with us and help. But then President Bush started using 9/11 as an instrument of fear and not reconciliation. He used the threat of terrorists as his justification to pass his laws. The Bush administration lied to us to get us into a war with Iraq by telling us they had nuclear weapons. And as Bush's attention was focused on foreign policy the economy inside America fell apart. And now we are left with a broken economy, a military that is stretched far too thin, and we've lost all our standing in the world. So I've been very sad about the state of our country. It no longer stood for the ideals and things it once did. But now, now is our chance to take it all back. To turn things around. To stop using fear and 9/11 to scare up votes, to stop torturing people, to stop polluting the world at such a dangerous rate, and to finally get this economy back in balance so that the little man isn't working for peanuts while the rich man is sitting on millions. I want my Goddamn country back! The world wants America back. And to quote Barack from his speech today, "People of Berlin, people of the world, this is our moment, this is our time!"

Full speech after the jump: A World That Stands As One

Carmensita by Devendra Banhart

Huge Snake

Here is some video documenting a very, very large snake.

You Boob.

I have elsewhere spoken of the endless Winter of Mono, California, and but this moment of the eternal spring of San Francisco. Now if we travel a hundred miles in a straight line, we come to the eternal Summer of Sacramento. Not always and unvaryingly, but about one hundred and forty-three months out of twelve years, perhaps. Flowers bloom there, always, the reader can easily believe — people suffer and sweat, and swear, morning, noon and night, and wear out their stanchest energies fanning themselves. It gets hot there, but if you go down to Fort Yuma you will find it hotter. Fort Yuma is probably the hottest place on earth. The thermometer stays at one hundred and twenty in the shade there all the time — except when it varies and goes higher. It is a US military pot, and its occupants get so used to the terrific heat that they suffer without it. There is a tradition that a very, very wicked soldier died there, once, and of course, went straight to the hottest corner of perdition — and the next day he telegraphed back for his blankets. There is no doubt about the truth of this statement, there can be no doubt about it. I have seen the place where the soldier used to board. In Sacramento it is fiery Summer always, and you can gather roses, and eat strawberries and ice-cream, an wear white linen clothes, and pant and perspire, at eight or nine o'clock in the morning, and then take the cars, and at noon put on your furs and your skates, and go skimming over frozen Donner Lake, seven thousand feet above the valley, among snow banks fifteen feet deep, and in the shadow of grand mountain peaks that lift their frosty crags ten thousand feet above the level of the sea. There is a transition for you! Where will you find another like it in the Western Hemisphere? And some of us have swept around snow-walled curves of the Pacific Railroad in that vicinity, six thousand feet above the sea, and looked down as the birds do, upon the deathless Summer of the Sacramento Valley, with its fruitful fields, its feathery foliage, its silver streams, all slumbering in the mellow haze of its enchanted atmosphere, and all infinitely softened and spiritualized by distance — a dreamy, exquisite glimpse of fairyland, made all the more charming and striking that it was caught through a forbidden gateway of ice and snow, and savage crags and precipices.

It was in this Sacramento Valley, just referred to, that a deal of the most lucrative of the early gold mining was done, and you may still see, in places, its grassy slopes and levels torn and guttered and disfigured by the avaricious spoilers of fifteen and twenty years ago. You may see such disfigurements far and wide over California — and in some such places, where only meadows and forests are visible not a living creature, not a house, no stick or stone or remnant of a ruin, and not a sound, not even a whisper to disturb the Sabbath stillness you will find it hard to believe that there stood at one time a fiercely-flourishing little city, of two thousand or three thousand souls, with it newspaper, fire company, brass band, volunteer militia, bank, hotels, noisy Fourth of July processions and speeches, gambling halls crammed with tobacco smoke, profanity, and rough-bearded men of all nations and colors, with tables heaped with gold dust sufficient for the revenues of a German principality — streets crowded and rife with business town lots worth four hundred dollars a front foot — labor, laughing, music, dancing, swearing, fighting, shooting, stabbing — a bloody inquest and a man for breakfast every morning — everything that delights and adorns existence — all appointments and appurtenances of a thriving and prosperous and promising young city — and now nothing is left of it all but a lifeless, homeless solitude. The men are gone, the houses have vanished, even the name of the place is forgotten. In no other land, in modern times, have towns so absolutely died and disappeared, as in the old mining regions of California.

It was a driving, vigorous, restless population in those days. It was a curious population. It was the only population of the kind that the world has ever seen gathered together, and it is note likely that the world will ever see its like again. For, observe, it was an assemblage of two hundred thousand young men — not simpering, dainty, kid-gloved weaklings, but stalwart, muscular, dauntless young braves, brimful of push and energy, and royally endowed with every attribute that goes to make up a peerless and magnificent manhood — the very pick and choice of the world's glorious ones. No women, no children, no gray and stooping veterans — none but erect, bright-eyed, quick moving, strong-handed young giants — the strangest population, the finest population, the most gallant host that ever trooped down the startles solitudes of an unpeopled land. And where are they now? Scattered to the ends of the earth — or prematurely aged and decrepit — or shot or stabbed in street affrays — or dead of disappointed hopes and broken hearts — all gone, or nearly all — victims devoted upon the alter of the golden calf — the noblest holocaust that ever wafted its sacrificial incense heavenward. It is pitiful to think upon.

It was a splendid population — for all the slow, sleepy, sluggish-brained sloths staid at home — you never find that sort of people among pioneers — you cannot build pioneers out of that sort of material. It was that population that gave to California a name for getting up astounding enterprises and rushing them through with a magnificent dash and daring and a recklessness of cost or consequences, which she bears unto this day — and when she projects a new surprise, the grave world smiles as usual, and says "Well, that is California all over."

— Mark Twain, Roughing It

Private Affair by The Virgins

Sports in Plain Site

-What's so funny 'bout peace, hoops, and understanding?
-I still think wrestling is fake, but don't tell this guy that.
-Sparring for social change.
-Athlete millionaires still gang banging or simply calling the next play?

Honarable Mention - Dennis Rodman, Tonya Harding

Home sweet hometown

I love it when my hometown gets in the national news! Has anyone actually ever been to Mitzi's? Might be worth a visit next time I'm home.

Man Sues Lounge After Performer Slaps Him
HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) ―
A customer at Mitzi's Gentleman's Lounge in Funkstown who was assaulted by a performer there has filed a $400,000 suit against the woman and the club.

Larry Davis was slapped by Bethany Ann Smith, 27, in the incident in July 2007. Washington County District Court documents show she was found guilty of second-degree assault on July 3 and sentenced to six months in prison, which was suspended.

Davis is seeking $100,000 in punitive damages and $100,000 in compensatory damages from Smith, and the same from Gulsen Pierpoint, the owner of the lounge.

Because Smith was "carrying out her duties as a performer at the time of the attack," Mitzi's is liable for the battery on Davis, the suit alleges.

House of Cards

Saw this and had to share...

Radiohead just released a new video for its song "House of Cards" from the album "In Rainbows".

No cameras or lights were used. Instead two technologies were used to capture 3D images: Geometric Informatics and Velodyne LIDAR. Geometric Informatics scanning systems produce structured light to capture 3D images at close proximity, while a Velodyne Lidar system that uses multiple lasers is used to capture large environments such as landscapes. In this video, 64 lasers rotating and shooting in a 360 degree radius 900 times per minute produced all the exterior scenes.

Watch the making-of video to learn about how the video was made and the various technologies that were used to capture and render 3D data.

All We are Saying

Coast to Coast with Shahab - Update

I just got off the phone with Shahab, and he is currently in Rugby, North Dakota. In this small town (population 3000) they boast to be "The Geographic Center of North America."

He mentioned that he hasn't gotten a cell phone signal in about a week, but he's doing well. He also mentioned that he's missed New York City women... I'm sure they miss him too.

Dr. Michael Debarkey

As a long time supporter of life without watching television, I must say it's the easiest thing to do while eating alone. We recently cut our cable to help curb our financial woes. That type of action brings channels like PBS to the forefront. While I was eating last night, The News Hour w/Jim Lehrer ran a story about a 99 year old doctor named Michael Debarkey who died this past week. I was surprised to learn this man had spent 70 years in his field and performed over 60,000 heart surgeries on people including JFK & Stalin. One of his proteges they interviewed said no operation room in the world exists that doesn't have an instrument created by Dr. Michael Debarkey lying around. [article]

As American as... nevermind.

I'm sure you all heard, Budweiser is no longer an AMERICAN company. "Dey took 'er joooobs!" It was sold to Belgium's InBev for $52 billion — although Bud CEO, August Busch IV, had told the company's wholesale distributors months ago that a sale would "not happen on his watch." All it took was InBev to raise their price per share price to $70 (it was rejected at $65). Sellout.

InBev makes a lot of good beers, to their credit, including Stella Artois, Leffe, Hoegaarden, and Beck's (Stella is probably my favorite beer). InBev also comes from a country where their money is ACTUALLY WORTH SOMETHING.

Despite my best efforts, my employer refuses to pay me in Euros. The "Almighty Dollar" ain't what she used to be, remember that when filling up your gas tank... Oil has gotten more expensive worldwide, but prices have jumped twice as much in the U.S.A. compared to Europe due to the falling price of the dollar. Some economists expect a dollar rebound in late '08 or 2009. In the meantime, don't be shocked to see American treasures purchased by foreigners.

The Never Ending Story

Just stumbled across this as I was stumblin' through bobdylan.com. They're all very short, but be sure to go back to the beginning. And I found that episode 18 doesn't work.

Taming the Savage Adorable Beast

Ohh La La

Eric sent me a link to some pretty puttingthingsinplainsiteworthy news. The BBC is reporting that the Faces may be getting back together to tour. Let's just hope Ronnie Wood can keep his act together.

"Rabbit Ripper of the Ruhr"

It was reported in recent news that some asshole was going around chopping peoples feet off and chucking them in the Canadian waters. Perhaps in response to Canada's Foot Fetish Frenzy, Germany has issued it's own version of mysterious human sadism, the 'Rabbit Ripper' ('Bunny Beheader').

Seasonal Haiku

The spaniel charms a
growl as our paths cross up the
narrow, marble stairs.

The stench of mange, piss,
and decay mix as I greet
my aging neighbor.

It’s pitiful the
way he beats the dog and yells
“You stinking bastard,”

And even more how
he smiles; how the dog cowers
yet still trails behind.

Antichrist Svperstar

Earlier today I was writing a very long winded email to a friend about "what hip hop means to me." I touched on who I liked, who I didn't, etc. It got me to thinking, the only rap I really liked is from the 90's. The 90's was the last decade of the Music Store, pre-digital era, where it seemed people were more on the same page, many just listening to what MTV told us to like. A G-Funk era, if you will... And then I got to thinking about the complete opposite of rap (which wasn't hard to do). I started thinking of 90's ROCK bands. What were some of the albums to really splash those magazines like Rolling Stone and Guitar World, a big pop-culture album...

Not too long ago (thirty minutes ago) I just repurchased Marilyn Mason's Antichrist Superstar, and I'm listening to it now. Yes, it was an impulse buy, but I had some leftover iTune's gift certificate dough, so whatta I got to lose? It's been a while, you know, and I'm willing to go there. Anywho, this album is total horror music for your ears! "Tourniquet" is my choice-song, great opening guitar riff, amazingly terrifying music video complete with zombies, mutilation, and hasty nipple shaving. shivers... I must admit I do consider this a guilty pleasure. Rocking out like the stranged and esteemed Masonites, fans of Marilyn Manson, just comes natural to me.

The album is considered a concept album. In a three part storyline, an abused and apathetic person (represented by "The Worm") becomes an influential celebrity and finally transforms into the powerful "Disintegrator". In an issue of Kerrang! magazine edited by Manson, he stated that the album was a tribute to - and inspired by - the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Much of the album content is deliberately vague, allowing listeners to draw independent conclusions. [source]

I remember when I first heard of Marilyn Manson back in middle school, I was honestly terrified of him as a human being. His music seared images of demon-like creatures playing rock instruments loud and threatening, trying to scare... I didn't spend too much time listening to his music, but his videos did scare me, "He must be possessed by the devil!" Back in those days I had the Lord living in my heart and mind, so I feared The Reaper... "Lead me not into temptation." But given the taste of my personality, of course I secretly enjoyed the extremes of pop artists like Nine Inch Nails and Manson. Total characters, like Ziggy Stardust with evil powers. The best part about Antichrist Superstar is that its produced by Trent Reznor, the mastermind behind NIN; very dark, industrial, fuzzy guitars, screeching guitars, weaping guitars, whispers, screams, BIG SCREAMS, drums that sound like they're being beaten to death... a very dramatic piece of work...

I've been digging it, fucking rocks, dude (throws up "the sign of the beast"). I'll listen to it on my way to Hagerstown. I'm trying to make my Greyhound experience as terrifying as possible! I'm sure this album isn't for everybody, plenty people can't stand this shit. The winning Manson listener is either be a disenchanted teenager with raging hormones and a fondness for the goth, or an adult open-minded listener who appreciates the horror, dedication, and uniqueness of Manson's art, particularly Antichrist Superstar. Sorry folks, this ain't for the kiddies.

Real people over the last 30 days

I put a "site tracker" on this webpage about a month ago using GoStats.com just to see how many hits this site was getting and somewhat of an idea how popular it was. Today I got an email that reported:

Total counter state:

Hits: 2696
Hosts: 513
Visitors: 1102
Sessions: 1489

From the begining of the month:

Hits: 277
Hosts: 54
Visitors: 121
Sessions: 162

Last week:

Hits: 380
Hosts: 109
Visitors: 169
Sessions: 210

People from all over the world have stumbled on this site, many of them peeping for "racy miley cyrus photos." It appears the lazy summer days are also getting to the best of us. Just figured I'd share.

The Lucas Laws Lexicon, Vol 1.

In stride with Meriam-Webster Inc.’s addition of more than 100 new entries in their newest edition, I wanted to offer up some of my own new words in my first edition of the Lucas Laws Lexicon:

mijority n. pl. 1. A race majority in a particular state or region that is outnumbered by the collective minority races 2. The collective minority races in a particular state or region that outnumber the majority race. I ‘member everythang was fine and dandy here ‘till them damn mijorities started actin’ like it was there country too.

facespace n. A slang conjunction used for referring to the two popular social networking websites, Facebook & MySpace, all in one. Lisa, you’ve been on facespace uploading Medieval Times pictures for the past 4 hours. Don't you see no one cares about your knight boyfriend!

stockton v.t. To give or render help to; relieve; succor. (coined after the NBA’s all-time assist king, John Stockton – 15,806 career assists) Did you enjoy that man? Good. You owe me, because I told the stripper I would kill her and her boyfriend if she didn’t give you a free private dance….Stockton!...right?

A Quick Take, Dr. Phil vs Dr. No

So I just came back from dragging on a left handed cigarette, hurray, and Mr Obama is speaking from Fairfax, VA. I know this because he sent out a bulletin on Myspace to everyone on his friends list. And he's hitting on the economy, real specific proposals, speaking to a womans only audience, and he's getting fired up again like he was early in the primaries. Talking about keeping taxes low for middle and lower income folk, cutting taxes for small business owners, providing Universal Healthcare, getting women equal pay at the work place. He's telling these women that if they get out there and knock on some doors, get out the vote, then we can win this election, and these people are eating it up. He was with Hillary in New York last night raising money to help pay her debt off, they had a breakfast this morning with some female supporters, and his wife is in Missouri talking to middle aged white ladies.McCain is floundering and Obama's out there adding women to his movement. He already had blacks, young folk, Native Americans, Middle Easterners, and the "Starbucks crowd" as they call them. He just added Hispanics and Jews 3 weeks ago, and now he's adding in white women. And McCain's getting plastered for his top economic advisor, Phil Gramm, calling Americans a "nation of whiners". And John McCain just went on the television and said he wants to make the guy ambassador to Bellarus, which was a pathetic attempt at humor. Bellarus is where Chernobyl happened, it's still radioactively poisionous, weird sh!t grows there, it's like the end of the world. So then Obama comes out and does a Chris Rock style routine ragging on McCain comparing him to Dr. Phil (a retort to McCain calling him Dr. No), all a day after the Rev Jesse Jackson talked about castrating him....this stuff is great!

Psychodelic Mushrooms Are Good For You

That's what the internet told me... According to this Yahoo News article:

"I feel more centered in who I am and what I'm doing," said Osborn, now 66, of Providence, R.I. "I don't seem to have those self-doubts like I used to have. I feel much more grounded (and feel that) we are all connected."

That doesn't sound all bad, now, does it?

Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways.

I wonder if Malcom Ritter, AP Science Writer, tried the shrooms. What real journalist reporting on the subject wouldn't?

I wanted to share my project from last semester's computer graphics class. My professor assumed I gave little effort...UNTRUE! It was very frustrating for me to execute because of my poor computer skills. I was happy with the way it turned out and I thought it would make a cool album cover for a post-beatles mix.

One from my heart

Since I've been utterly not following the news, the times, or the society lately (this includes neglecting my weekly subscriptions to both sides of the fence, as well as any cnn, nyt, blah blah, spot checking), music has been the only thing occupying my time, fortunately. Which brings me to Francis Ford Coppola, who had some sort of hand in bringing together one of more intriguing husband and wife songwriting duo's.

One From The Heart was his follow up to my favorite movie of all time, Apocalypse Now. There's a soundtrack for One From The Heart, composed by Tom Waits. It's awesomely cheesy and interesting, as is the movie.

The Death of an Eyesore

How fitting is it that on the birth date of our country declaring "all men are created equal" that Jesse Helms has died. The man who once called the University of North Carolina "The university of Negros and communists" passed away today at the age of 86. Now I must admit I'm torn. Part of me feels for the passing of any person, but at the same time I'm quite thrilled that the son-of-a-bitch is dead. I love my state, but with Helms as our senior senator I was always a little embarrassed. He once ran against and ethnic candidate using the slogan "Vote for Helms-He's one of us", he opposed the MLK JR Day bill on the grounds that he "associated with communists" and was a philanderer, and there's of course the famous "Hands" ad which can be seen here. He was a racist and homophobic plain and simple but the worst incident of all might be this fun little story. Soon after the Senate vote on the Confederate flag insignia, Sen. Jesse Helms ran into Carol Mosely-Braun in a Capitol elevator. Helms turned to his friend, Sen. Orrin Hatch, and said, "Watch me make her cry. I'm going to make her cry. I'm going to sing 'Dixie' until she cries." He then proceeded to sing the song about "the good life" during slavery to Mosely-Braun.

I just wish Jesse wouldn't have died so soon. Something tells me he would've loved this November!

Drop the Sand or Jump Ship!

Pack your bags folks, 'cause we're turning 'round — heading back to the fork. No use in getting used to the cold, no use in chasing those "times." I say THANK YOU to the Smart Men who started this whole thing and NO to the 21st century — I will not be your BIG FAT FUCK! Hell, its my birthday too.

Did you know you can safely drink fresh piss? No go on the shit, though.

My Hometown

I'm proud of my hometown Hagerstown, Maryland. I feel safe. Why? Because we have front page news like this in our newspaper.

Shadowplay

So apparently some jackass got the smart idea to go and steal the gravestone of Ian Curtis. According to the BBC, 'at some point between Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning, thieves removed the stone from its perch at the Macclesfield Cemetery in Curtis' hometown of Macclesfield, England. Authorities currently have no leads as to the whereabouts of the stone, which bears the inscriptions "Ian Curtis 18 - 5 - 80" and "Love Will Tear Us Apart".'

So I figured I'd use this sad occasion as an opportunity to post Joy Division's first television appearance. Not sure if anyone else on here is a fan, but if so enjoy.

FAUX News

Does anybody else on here watch FOX news? I mean I could just stop my blog post at that point alone but seriously, has anybody else on here been watching this shit? Well whether you have or not I thought I'd take a moment to share with you some of the things I've 'learned' in the last two hours alone.

First off, questioning McCain's military service is out of bounds (got that General Clark?), but accusing John Kerry of shooting himself to earn a purple heart is okay. And what's the difference you may ask, well according to Andrea Tanteros and Ollie North, John Kerry criticized the Vietnam war when he got home, which makes him something between a traitor and the French candidate for president; where as John McCain still to this day supports the Vietnam war so therefore it's hands off.

Secondly, Barack Obama (or Barry as I like to call him), is a "phony" when it comes to his Christianity. Now I was already aware that only Republicans were alowed to be Christians, you know with Jesus being the former head of the Messopotamia faction of the GOP and all, but apparently Barry isn't allowed to propose any faith based initiatives because "Evangelicals smell a fake a mile away". Oh and the fact that Obama is an evangelical himself doesn't count because Christians "only vote on gay marriage and abortion". Apparently they've moved away from the peace and poverty platform that Jesus ran on, hell with a name like that it wouldn't surprise me if they deported him already.

Thirdly and fortunately finally, coal and gas are good for ours and the Earth's health because "those who have coal and oil are wealthy. And wealthy is healthy, healthy is wealthy" so says some man that looks like a glasses-less version of Eric Cantor (Cantor by the way might be the biggest jackass in all the GOP, and he's the congressman for Richmond, disgrace). And in a related point Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is something akin to a San Francisco Liberal (which in republican eyes puts him on the same level with the man who cancelled Touched By an Angel) because he said that coal and oil are "making us sick".

Well, that's all the 'learnin' for now folks. I hope you all now feel as misinformed as I do!